I've got nothing to say anymore.. That's my mistake, a wrong decision. I admit it. I'm sorry. However, i really hope that she won't forgive me. That's all i gonna say. Take care.

After a month of school holiday, school is reopening tomorrow, FINALLY! Hahas... Quite excited but sad at the same time... It's kinda bored at home sometimes, but school ain't any better. School can be interesting at times, sucks at times. During holidays, a few times when i'm bored at home, decided to go out and walk around. However, that is when i realise how small Singapore can be. Always go to the town areas, beach and golf range. No more... Quite small indeed. But, if you think it's really small, try to walk from Jurong to Changi instead! Hahas... *evil laughs*

Think back what i've done during this one month, quite meaning and interesting. I can say that I spent every cent i got. ^^ Here are some stuff that happened during this holiday.

. Took part in National Inter-School Junior Golf Championships.
. Went out with Audrey & Charlene a couple of times.
. Golfing with close friends!
. Have fun with close friends almost every day during holidays.
. Cycling at East Coast Park with close friends!
. Had barberque at Sean's place.
. Being mistaken as a weird guy. Thanks to Sean. Damn it.
. Florida! ^^
. Went to drink coffee with Aloysius and chat for twice!
. Went out with Xin Yi to her friend's chalet! It's fun!!!
. Finshed up my homework and get ready for term 3!

* I have to apologise to someone, Xin Yi... Felt guilty... She asked me out quite a number of times but i always cannot make it... i'm sorry... My schedule always change out of a sudden... Sorry sorry... Hahas... Hmmm... Next time maybe? Sorry... Hmmm... Wish her the very best in everything she do... Best wishes and take care!!! Good luck my old friend... Hope to see her again real soon! ^^

In no particular order, list down 3 people you talk to online, 4 people you see at school, 2 teachers, 3 people you love going out with and 3 people in your SMS inbox.

1. Pang Yong
2. Jia Wen
3. Xin Yi
4. Chin Keong
5. Sean
6. Alex
7. Ze Yi
8. Aloysius
9. Kim Mee
10. Charlene
11. Danny
12. Shu Hui
13. Audrey
14. Miss Lim
15. Miss Kang

so what do you think of number 4?
Well, he's fine. A great guy indeed... Nuts at times, especially when he wants to bang the wall!

how would you feel if number 15 slapped you in the face?
Its her natural defence mechanism so yeah.. No surprise...

on the scale of 1 to 10, how good lookin number 5 is?
about 6? Hmmm... Better don't write any comments. =P

how nice is number 6?
Good fella... Soon to be a Buddha... Hahaha... Solid guy...

honestly, if number 8 met an accident, what would you do?
Hmmm... Seriously, I'll visit him and see how's his injuries and buy VEGETABLES for him at the same time! Hmmm... Still I'll feel pretty upset cos he's my best friend.. ^^

would i ever fall for 15?
Ewwww! nooooo.... That would be just wrong... After all she's my teacher! ;)

what if number 1 got a girlfriend?
*giggled*...*starts banging fist on floor with laughter*...*mutters through tears and laughter*... Very surprise... Shocked but happy...

what sport would i play with number 12?
Golf! Hahas... She's in the golf team u see... Can't ask her to ride bicycle rite? ^^

how much do you like number 7?
HUH?!?!?!?! He's a soccer freak! Woohoo~~~ His size is his advantage...

will 13 and 7 make a good couple?
You MUST be joking

do i hate number 9?
How can i? She's my god sis!

would 14 one day kill me?
You never know about her...

who do i like more? 3 or 10?
Tough fight *flips coin* ... The coin says 10. =P

get 5 people to do this!
Screw that... You guys who have blogs and have read this go and do it!

Spread the lovin'
d'valentine

Hi guys! I'm finally back! After busying for days overseas, finally back home! Hahas... Home sweet home... ^^

Days ago, i went out with Xin Yi.. Hahas... Anyway, she was my dear primary schoolmate. Nope... Actually she was my ex-classmate.. Yupps.. I find it quite impressive... Almost 6 years of friendship between me and her... Hahas... That day I actually went to her friend's chalet... Don't ask me how was it, it's cool... Yupps... Hmmm... I manage to make quite a number of new friends... Hahas... Have had a fun day.. Alright, an interesting day indeed! ^^

Went golfing with some close friends just now... I didn't play much today... I'm just slacking around with them... Tired... That's the reason... Halfway through, we went to have lunch nearby. Have fun after that... Yupps... After that, we went back to the club and continues to bash balls... Well, i'm quite impressed by my performance today.. I've finally tuned my swing. Three-quarter swing instead of a full swing. Slower and better-feel swing, further and consistent ball flight. Yupps.. That's what I wanted. But wishing for the better... ^^

I saw her today. Should say that this is the second time I saw her after graduation. The previous time was on the train last year. Hmmm... What should I say... Hmmm... She still remain the same as last time i guess? I mean her physical appearance... Hmmm... No.. I think she grown taller le... Hahas.. *claps* Yupps... That's her physical appearance, but don't know about her characteristic. Glad to know that she's fine.

Hmmm... What should I say... Hmmm... Some may think I'm crazy when they know I like her for such a long time. About 4 years I think.. I mean, in the past. However, of course, it will definitely have their reasons for them to fall in love with someone. For me, to be in love with her, it's definitely gonna have my reasons. Mainly because I've saw the good points in her. And hopefully without knowing the other side of her.. However, in other people's perspective, her good points may turn into a bad one. So people out there, i mean if anyone, please don't criticize her. It is because you may not know her and never judge a book with it's cover. Like what i've said, there are reasons why i'll fall for her, i mean, i like her for such long period, ( 4 years is equivalent to about one-third of my life ) must have a reason in it. So please, it doesn't really reflect good to others or to me if you criticize someone i like.

*During these few days of ignorant and thoughts, i finally come to a conclusion. I mean, i finally understand... I guess we really came from 2 different worlds. We are totally different. You have your way of living and i've my style of life. We are so different. Example, whatever that can content me, that doesn't make you smile and when you're laughing at something, i don't feel it's funny at all... You're going for simple life, but that's what i can't give you. It's because i've already used to the type of life i have now... After so many things happened recently, i know we're drifting apart. Although I get to know you more, but you're not longer the girl i used to know. I can't lie to myself anymore. Forget it... Till then, my feelings for you will still remains. However, I think i'll choose to give up cos i know that we were not meant for each other.

It would be nice if we could put away and throw out everything except what really mattered, but reality is just cruel. And such times, I see you laughing whenever I close my eyes.

Until the day I reach eternal sleep, that smiling face will have to stay with me without fail. People are all sad, so they go and forget.

For that which I should love, for that which gives me love, I will do what I can. Back then, when we met, it was all awkward. We went the long way, didn't we? We got hurt, didn't we?

Back then, when we met, it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?

We got there in the end.

So what for showing me that you care when you actually not? Forget it.

We have the rights to love someone. When you love someone, the feeling is just so difficult to describe. Sweet at times, pain at times. Worried at times, can't be bother at times. You'll definitely feel hurt when the one you love is cold to you. That's for sure. And you'll not really be impressed when the one you like cheer you up. Cos you know you've not gotten over him or her. It's just something temporary. It's like, so near yet so far..?

All that i'm asking for is spending time with you. Is that so difficult? Spending time to talk, to chat, to walk around or whatever. I just want to spend my time with you. Time frame isn't important. What really matter are the chances. I know i don't have much time left. I just afraid that i can't see you again. So i'll cherish every chance, every moment with you. I hope I could just turn away and pretend that i don't love you anymore. I think maybe this can makes me feel better. I'll never forget the times we talked about me and you, the things we do together forever. If I could turn back the hands of time, I'd still be holding on the wishes that you left behind. Cos here there's a picture of us. Together forever unfaded, unbroken.

Remember the day when *somebody* had his birthday's party at his home? I asked you to come along right? Remember? Remember what i told you that night? Remember? I did tell you my feeling for you. I did. But what happened in the end? I really regretted. I shouldn't have ask you to join us. I shouldn't. That's when the both of you first met i think... Because i asked you to join us. I regretted.. You know that? You know how hurt it was when i know that i'm doing such stupid things? It's because of me then the both of you get to know each other. Then the both of you... I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have let the both of you met in the first place.

One more thing. Jealousy. I'm jealous when i see you playing with other guys. Saw you beating one another, pinching, blah blah blah. Yes. I'm jealous. You told me the same things to other guys. Why can't you make it a secret between me and you? Why you can't just tell me the thing and not telling anyone else? I'm upset. Upset and jealous. You treat me equally like any other guys out there. Haiz. Forget it. When other guys' birthday, you'll prepare a gift for them... But mine? You didn't give me anything. Nope. I'm not asking for the gift. I'm not asking for it. But, i just think that other guys are much more luckier and fortunate than me. ( excluding that *someone* special ) They can receive a gift from you even though they ain't really familiar with you. But me? Am i someone you really really not familiar with? Am i? Forget it. Forget it. There's just nothing i can do, just nothing i can say, will things be the same in any other way?

Anyway, just to tell you, if you got nothing else left in your life, remember me. I'll always be there for you. I promise i'll give you the best that i can. I give you my word.

spread the lovin'

d`valentine

Yupps. I've recovered. Thanks for concerning ya. Yupps yupps. Feeling better already... ^^

Went for intensive training just now. Note the word "intensive". I'm tuning my swing. During the previous competition, my game was really terrible. Ball flight was a terrible headache. However today, yupps, slight improvement. Chipping, putting, iron shots or even driver, results are impressive. Played around 500 balls today. "intensive" ya... First time in my life i played so much in a day. Normally just a hundred or two. Just don't know how come, I'm not tired at all! Though I didn't even sleep for a minute last night, but i'm not sleepy at all! Weird.

Sometimes, I don't really like disturbance or attention when i attempt to hit the small little white ball using a metal piece. When i'm playing golf i mean. Trying hard to concentrate but always being distracted by "spectators". One or two people it's okay. But sometimes 5 or 6 or even 10 people. =.= Take note, i'm not a professional. I'm just a 15 years old kid who's trying hard to play good golf. My swing isn't good at all. No consistency. So what's so nice to watch? =.= I play golf for 2 reasons. One is to treat it as my primary sports. Second is to vent my anger. When i'm moody, i'll play golf. And when i'm moody, there're still people crowding all over my bay and keep asking me questions. That's really frustrating but i gotta keep the smile on my face. Golfing to enjoy. But now it's like torture. Forget it. Forget it.

But why? I just want to know the reason. I'm feeling very very bad now. Forget it. Forget all about it. I don't know. I really don't know. Don't know! Can't think of anything now. I really, really, really feel like leaving everything behind and just walk away. Just walk away. Don't gonna give a damn anymore. No way. Why does all this gotta falls on me? Mr Fate and Ms Love, I think you've found the wrong person. Please, walk out of my life. Please. Won't you just leave me alone? Please. Please. I'm sick and tired. Enough from all this, enough to confess my hatred. I'm nothing. I just want to be nobody but an ordinary person. An ordinary person who leads a simple life. Not going for position nor wealth. They're useless in a sense, they just can't make me happy at all! No. Not gonna be. I'm running away from reality. Entering an illusionary world where no one could hear nor see me. By then, I'll scream. Screaming. For whatever it has been done, I'm a melancholy man after all. Forget it. Just forget about it. It just won't continue. Nope. Would the last one out, please shut the door for me. No no. Guard the door for me please. Guard the door of my heart, not letting anyone in nor anyone out. And my heart will locked up, for days, for months, for years, for decades and till the day i die, it's still locked.

I think i should have keep everything inside my heart. Shouldn't tell anyone unless she's someone special to me. There're so many things I wanted to shared with her. But I wonder where to start. Cherish what we get. Although we're friends, but i still cherish every moment spent with her. I did and i really enjoyed.

Time I found myself really laughing was during the time I was alone with her. The rest of the time was like, forcing myself to smile when i know i'm not happy at all. Whatever. Although i know we're people from two different world, but i just can't help falling in love with her. Feel that she's someone special, someone unique, someone grant, someone who i'll always fight for. I don't know either. It just happened that way. She's right. Love is something we can't control. She keep running through my mind in every moment in my life. In my heart, her name is the most beautiful word that ever exists. Her voice is like a melody, a smooth melody which i never want to stop listening.

*Memories that you left for me is the sweetest memories in my life. You're probably a perfect regret i would never want to look back. No one had ever reach the place in my heart. You're the first and you'll definitely be the last. I swear I'll keep my love for you till the day i die. Sound rather stupid but it definitely gonna be true.

Spread the lovin`

d`valentine

How could you leave without saying goodbye
Gone disappeared like the blink of an eye
Used me up and left me behind
Something true will I ever find
The pureness I saw in you must've hallucating in my mind
Feeling like a roller-coaster taken for a ride
See you've caused all the pain that I'm now feel inside
I remember how you used to say
Let it go, no fear, it will be okay
But it hurts so much that I cannot cry
All built up but won't leave my eye
In a way I think it's my fault, that I am to blame
I can't shake this guilt I'll never be the same
Gave up so much for you, let anything go
There's still so many things I want you to know
But these words will never be spoken
Because I'm all choked up and my heart is broken

Wait and wait and wait... Wondering, how come my phone didn't ring? Haiz... Frankly, I woke up pretty early today. Holding on to my phone every minute. Hope to see her name on the sender's column. However, disappointment is what i get. You know how it felt like...? Wadever.

Until evening, Aloysius asked me to play golf. And that's when i realise i've spend almost 10 hours waiting for a message... Forget it. Get changed and ate something light. ( didn't eat anything since morning ) Well, took a cab to the club. However, when i reach, i realised that i really not in the mood to play golf. So we left our golf bags at the club and went to town areas. Shopping... I bought an orange titan band which cost me 30 bucks. After that, went to drink coffee at Coffee Club. Then we past by an arcade... So we went in.... I change $10 at first, but changed another $40 later.. =.= ( still longing for my phone to ring )

Had dinner in a japanese restaurant at Ritz Carlton. Spend about $100 for 2 person... =.= After that, we went to stroll around clarke quay area. We bought the boat's tickets and took a ride out of curiosity... While i'm on the boat, i sms her... She did replied me... But... Haiz.. Forget it, forget it.

We went back home after that... Really have got no mood anymore. And i've spend quite a lot today... =.=

what lovin` again..?

d`valentine

I'm still waiting for her SMS... =.=

Wee wee ~~~ She online in the afternoon... Have had a nice chat with her... She ask me to do her a favour. And I've done my job... ^^ Yupps... Hyper-hyper-hyper! Hahas... After a long long chat, received calls from bros. What else can they offer..? Nothing else but asking me out... AGAIN! Hahas... So i've got no choice but to get change and go out before they say i'm always late... Haiz... ( cannot talk to her anymore... =.= )

* I read your blog and I know you had read mine too... Haiz... He... He... He... "Troubles..." That's what he says. See it yourself... Haiz... Whatever. Just hope that you have the time tmr... Cheer up... Smile...!! Don't be upset anymore le ok? Haiz...

Spread the lovin`

d`valentine

I hope I can fulfill every idea that strikes my mind. I swear I can do it... What else? Gotta drop my handicap to below 10 in order for me to play in the A` division next year. I merely have got one more year. After next year, I probably gotta play in those Amateur Open... My current handicap is 10. But there's no way I can play like a 10 handicapper! I always played 80+ or sometimes even 90+. Once or twice 70+... What the hell...? I just can't have my fullest concentration during my training section! I just whack and bash the golf balls. ( correct term is "hit"....? ) My whole mind is just her... I completely have got no mood to play! Losing my composure at every swing I attempted to hit golf balls. There are many things in my mind which I just can't figure them out. I kinda stupid ya...? Crying over spilled milk... Circling my thoughts around something which I can never get an outcome. I'm still okay cos now it's school holidays. Whenever I'm vexed, I can just go out and take a stroll.. Maybe spend money or wadever... But what about school days? I'll see her everyday... Somemore her class is just next door. What can I do if my mind get bloody complicated in the school? Listening to MP3? Draw funny things on a memo pad? These are what probably I'll do in the past... But now...? Maybe a sight of her is the best remedy. Wadever... Wadever.

what lovin`?

d`valentine

Temptress of my heart,
Always a thought away.
Many times I wonder if to start
Realizing that some day
Alone is where this world I'll part
But where I am now is where I'm sure to stay.

Times gone by
At each turn of every day,
Mindless battles of doldrums
Rain clouds sure to stay.
A world of hope and joy for some
But for me 'tis not the way.

The irony in these thoughts of mine
A story that shall remain untold
My feelings, although pure and fine,
Require actions that be bold
And despite sentiment of heart and spine,
Best remain hid with me while I grow old.

Out with Daddy and Mummy for lunch today... Hahas... Such a long long time since the previous lunch we had together. After that, I left them and went to bash golf balls with my besties, Aloysius and Danny. We played 18 holes and I won... HAHA! After which, Aloysius was hungry and he was crying for food... Dotz... Nvm... As me and Danny was his good buddies, we accompany him to eat our dinner in the Japanese restaurant. We ordered the food and waited eagerly. All of a sudden, Aloysius recieved a message from *.....* ... And we've got no mood to eat anymore! Cos somebody is coming! Dotz... Nervous.. Nervous... *shivers* She arrived just before we finish eating. After food, we went out to the range and continue to hit our golf balls. But the 3 of us got stressed up.. Cos she's coming out and watch us playing too... Dotz.. Dotz... In the end, she really came out and watch us play! OMG...! *asthma attack* Luckily I didn't shanked or miss-hit any balls.. *phew* Hahas... She is kind of...................!!! ^^ Headed home after that, Daddy brought us out for supper. Hahas.. I'm now back home, tired! Hahas.. So wad to do tmr....??? Hmmm...

Spread the lovin`

d`valentine

Well, have had a pretty good day today... Hahas.. In fact, a very interesting day! Went out with the two girls.. You know... Hahas... Yupps... Having great fun...

We met at West Mall and our very first idea was, MOVIE! However when we're up at the box office, we realised that the show we intent to watch doesn't show in that cinema... Well, forget it. So we went down and play the "blah blah blah"... No idea how to describe it, kinda painting on a metal piece using liquified colouring materials... They did ask me to join them, but for what i hated the most is colouring.... Impatient you know... Hahas.. So I sat down and watch them enjoying themselves. We headed to Lot 1 after that to take Neoprints or stuffs like that.. Hahas... Got quite a number of prints... =)

Went to Suntec City next, made our way up to the convention hall... Somebodywants to reminisces the past ya... You know... Hahas... After "reminiscing", we walked a long to way to Esplanade, through Marina Square. *whatever* We took the escalator to the roof terrace... Hahas... It's nightime, you know.. Romantic sceneries filled our sight, relaxing melodies flew into our ears and cooling breeze passing through our body rapidly... Hahas... Yupps.. We did enjoyed ourselves... I left them after that to another activity... ( Girls, sorry about my early departure ya... Thanks a lot anyway... ^-^ )

I took a bus to Sean's house. They were having barberque... I'm sorry for my late arrival ya... Hahas... Forget it... Yupps... Good food and enjoyment... Jia En's brother was kind of hyperactive I supposed...? He used the charcoal dust and "attack" us... Nope... Jia En started the whole thing.. Hahas... She made it on Sean's face first... I'm not involve (at first) cos me, Aloysius and Danny were talking about the outcomes and the solutions for the Seletar CC incident... After that, fun time! We were playing as if we were having war... HAHA! Sean was the most pitiful victim, having charcoal on his entire face... I didn't get "strike", but I strike others... I pour the chilli sauces onto a plate and smashed it onto Jerroy's face and in the end, the chilli sauces went into my eyes... *ouch* Hahas.. After packing up the messy place, we headed home... Jerome's daddy fetch us... Hahas... Kind of interesting day today... ^^

Spread the lovin`

d`valentine

Just finished up the final coding for my blog, using Ayumi Hamasaki as the theme. I used dull red as primary colours and this time, I decided not to have any songs for my blog cos I find it quite irritating ya... Everything from scratches by me... I tried to view this page by Internet Explorer 6.0, but the visual isn't kind of up to standard. As my primary internet browser is Mozilla Firefox, I tried to make it the best viewing in Firefox. Hahas..