Here are some random thoughts I've been having for the past few days..

I get in and out of trains.. And I realise how sad people are.. You don't even have to ask them.. It's as if.. None of them are in love.. Or look forward to going back home.. Well.. Maybe they think that going back home would mean another night of sleeping and then going back to work again..

I find it strange how some people can look so beautiful.. And yet don't show it off. I saw this lad, she was about 20 plus years old.. In her office clothes and stuff.. She had such good features, sharp nose, nice eyes, good hair.. It seems she has it all.. But she had this frowning expression on her face.. Of fatigue.. She seemed like a mean girl with that expression, maybe a bad day at work? Hahas.. But it was such a waste. Even for other people.. Everybody thinks about how horrible or boring or routined their day went.. But they usually don't think about something that made them the least bit happy.. And I always wondered how almost every single person has got the same features.. Eyes, nose, mouth, skin, ears etc. But still look so very very different..

And I wonder how every single day I see new kinds of people.. 4 million people in singapore and I see new ones everyday.. Maybe I won't know if I've seen this stranger before.. Maybe I wouldn't remember.. But I wonder how long it would take me to see all 4 million faces..

How about love? When do you know you've fallen in love..? When I see a couple together holding hands.. I think.. How do you know he or she is that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with.. And does being in love necessarily mean you have to get married? Or can you spend the rest of your life together without any marriage vows and still go on having children.. Would that be too weird?

I think about how and why 2 people get attracted to each other.. Usually you'd see them within the same standards.. I'm thin, you're thin, I'm plump, you're plump. I wear glasses, you wear glasses..

How about.. If I'm a rebel and you're a goody? Is that possible? Can the most notorious person fall in love with the biggest nerd? I believe what my friend said last saturday.. No one actually really knows you.. Not even the person you've been with for 7 years.. Not unless you tell them who you are.. What kind of person you are.. Only you know yourself well.. And it's whether you want to tell the person what kind of person you are to know if they really love you..

And I did a calculation of how long a couple actually really know each other before they get married. Let's say you are seeing this person.. You meet them about at most 15 hours a week.. Or more I don't know? There are 52 weeks in a year.. So that's 15 times 52 which is 780 hours.. 24 times 30 is 720 hours in a month.. 780 divided by 720 is about 1 sth.. Times the relationship lasting for about 3 years.. It would be 3 months.. So actually.. If a couple has been together for 3 years.. You've only known them for 3 months.. I think.. If my calculations are correct.. So how do you know if you know that person long enough to commit?

This is me.. I'm the most messiest person in the world. I doubt anyone else can beat me. I have no floor in my room to walk on. I speak without thinking sometimes and so I get myself embarrassed. I sometimes honestly think that I have no idea how a real relationship works.. Even though I have been in one or two for quite a long time.. I am very lazy.. I don't get things done until I am told over and over again. I have very very weak will power.. I get distracted and tempted very easily thus I procrastinate a lot.

But I know that I love to be around friends.. And talking about things like this.. With them.. How we can crack each other up so much sometimes.. But sometimes we just get on each others nerves.. I will always try to think for other people and see how they feel.. Although sometimes in relationships I don't.. I am very easily amused.. And gullible as well.. I like to fight for what I am right in.. Even though sometimes I'm wrong, I still want to be right..

I am a person who people can get along with really well.. If you've met me for 5 mins, you'll see how easy it is... Or how easy I try to make it.. If I want to know you better, I'll keep talking to you.. But if you don't want to know me.. Then I'll just hold back.. I relate well with teens and adults.. But I have a problem with children.. Because I can't seem to know what to do when I'm around them.. But don't get me wrong.. I still want to have them.. Hahas..

When I'm happy I can just go crazy.. As in seriously, you will hear or see things that is just so ridiculous. But when I'm angry you, just have to leave me alone.. Because I will get angry at you if you bug me.. And I will do it unknowingly.. Although you are trying to help, I can't help it.. I would seems like I'm throwing my temper or venting my anger at you if I'm trying to tell you the problem.

When I'm sad.. I find someone to confide in.. I will tell you my problems and not beat around the bush.. I hate to bottle things inside me.. I am that way because I have thought about committing suicide before and that just scares me.. When I'm nervous I tend to smile a lot..

Sometimes I wish I could be another person.. I wish I could live a life of my particular friend.. Or most of the time I wish I could look like them. I have very low self esteem.. But I don't really show it. I care about what people think of how I look like. But I know that it doesn't matter because I have a great personality to show..

I don't think I have missed out anything about myself right here.. And I don't know why I blogged about this.. But I just felt like it. Hahas..

Seeing how long this entry is, I doubt any of you would bother to read it.. Tell me if you're that silent reader! =)

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d'valentine