Yes, if anyone still cares, I'm alive.

You ever get that feeling at the end of an absolutely awesome movie (etc star wars or the lord of the rings trilogy or the matrix trilogies) or like an absolutely brilliant musical or stage production (like joseph, phantom or less miserables) or the final episode of a long running fantabulous tv series ( friends, princess hours ) and just go "wow, that was such a great ride... I really don't want to end... I wanna see what's happening next" even though you know it's the end...

But what keeps you glued to it, what keeps you wanting to come back more? Simple, you've watched the characters grow, and you've grown with them. You've cried with them, laughed with them and seen them go through so much, you feel an inseparable bond of attachment with them.. It's so strong, you just don't want to let go... Even if it is the end of the road.

And yes, if you haven't already guessed what this is all about, let me just spell it out for you... It's finally come to the end of a magical and truly wonderful 2 years journey for me in the national junior golf team. I mean truly it's been just brilliant. But now's the time to pretty much begin my long process of writing thank you cards and getting ready to say goodbye to some of the most amazing people I've met thus far in my young life...

It's all kinda hit me really hard in the past couple of days, a little too hard I guess. I mean it's seems all so cliche but it seems like just yesterday that I've got roped on board on this crazy adventure with 8 other promising young golfing talents... We were pretty much just acquaintances up till then. But now have become very close friends, and competitive rivals, all of whom I respect very much.

But hey, no one knew how everything was going to work out, we just prayed that it would. And now that everything has, I guess we're all kinda wishing deep down in our hearts that we could play it all over again, like some 4am re-run of a friends episode from 1999... But we can't.

Now everyone's going their separated ways. First was the big boss melissa wong early on in the year.. Then others followed...

I don't know where my heart lies is still divided. My commitment to my game is as unwaivering as ever. I wanna be the best.

I've got more things running around in my mind now, probably a good idea just to sort everything out within the next 1 or 2 days.

Sigh.. So many things racing in my head. No wonder I've got a bloody headache since morning. Well, at least my backache aren't killing me no more..

I hope your fortunes are better than mine at this present time.

Spread the lovin'
d'valentine